Spirit's Page
Our Column -December 2009
"We are Moving"
Mom started getting boxes out - and then putting stuff in - and then piling boxes-
I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!
WE ARE MOVING AGAIN!
I AM FREAKED OUT!
SEE?
Red has no idea what this means. He has never moved. But I have moved two whole times. The last time was from New York to North Dakota. It is colder in North Dakota, and not as much snow to keep you warm when you hide in it. 20 below wind chill is VERY COLD when you do not have a snow blanket. That is why I really did let Mom put a coat in me last winter.
I may forgive the Mom if we move someplace where it is warmer that has snow blankets to hide under.
Red is REALLY CLUELESS!
He thinks that the boxes are just places to hide his toys. See how clueless he looks?
He gets very happy every time the MOM finds one of the toys that he hide so that I couldn't play with them. Silly Uppity Dog. He hide them and THEN FORGOT WHERE HE PUT THEM.
At least he didn't get to play with them either. BUT THEY WERE MY FAVORITE TOYS!
He will not have a fun time. He is scared of cars - and when you move you go places where there are lots of cars.
Last time we went by way of Chicago. There were cars. And trucks. And it was like were were sitting in a parking lot with the car engine on. It took lots of time. AND THE MOM EVEN SAID BAD WORDS!
Red will not like it if the Mom uses bad words.
I will write again this month and tell you what happens.
Spirit p.
RED ADDS:
I hope that the Mom puts up the Christmas tree again this year.
AND LETS ME EAT THE BIRDS ON IT!
She said "No Way" last year. That was NO fun.
RED
The Brave and the Brilliant
Our Column -October 2009
"My Favorite Time of Year"
This is my favorite time of year. I 
am eight years old in people time.I am old enough to know what a year is and that things change. And this is my favorite time of year.THAT OLD DOG DEWEY, who went to the rainbow bridge last year, used to think that the best time of year was snow-plow time, when we jump through the snow in a line with the MOM at the end.
He was part husky-snow dog.He even ATE snow when he was thirst.I think it is TOO COLD.It is NOT dog food.Ice cream IS dog food, even though it is cold. I think that part of the reason is that you get to eat it inside the house.Dewey was the one who showed me that ice cream really IS dog food- unlike snow.
Anyway, during snow-plow time, Dewey jumped and then I jumped and by the time the Mom came along there was room for her to walk in the snow. 'cept that time on a Christmas Day when we have 35 inches of snow. The wind made it very high in places and we BIG dogs could NOT see where we were jumping.That time the Mom had to jump, too. I thought this was fun, but very hard work. It was also cold and I had to grow LOTS OF DOG HAIR. That was hard work - too.
Even though we don't get so much snow out here, I still think that snow-plow time is too much hard work. THAT RED DOG is smart, 'cause he agrees with me.
Then there is the next time of year - lose-the-dog-hair time. The Mom says that she doesn't like this time, 'cause it is too much work for her. She calls it the pick-up-the dog-hair time. I don't like it, 'cause things are growing outside, and I want to play, but I get all pant-y and my tongue hangs out.I think I look silly.Until I finish the lose-the-dog-hair.Then the Mom gets grumpy for awhile until the house doesn't look black and fuzzy any more.
At least until the dog-bush grows and we can hide behind it. It is very hard work to be the guard dog when there is nothing to hide behind. During snow-plow time, we can hide under the snow.
In this next-time-of-year, the snow melts and me and THAT RED DOG get to roll in the mud and smell like not-the-dog. It is much easier to hide when you smell like not-the-dog. The squirrels think that you are a mud puddle and you can sneak up on them easier. That OLD DOG DEWEY told us a story about how he did this and ate a squirrel once.
THE MOM IS NOT HAPPY WHEN THIS HAPPENS. She doesn't like the eat-the-squirrel or the not-the-dog smell. She gives us baths then. This is another reason why this snow-melt time is NOT my favorite time of year. I HATE BATH TIME.
The next time is the one that the Mom calls summer. There is LOTS of things to hide under. THAT RED DOG really likes to hide under the dog-bush. I like to lie down on the porch. I lie in the sun and then I feel a little sick. When we go inside I make the Mom let me go down-the-basement where it is cool and I lie on the floor.I feel better then and can't wait to go back outside.It is MUCH harder to chase all the monster-things away when it is hot outside.
This time of year, I get to lie in the sun and not feel sick. I get to feel the sun on my dog hair and not get too hot. THAT RED DOG isn't as happy, because the things to hide under start to shrink and he is a big dog and needs lots of green stuff to hide under. He thinks that if he hides his face and he can't see you that you can't see him.I laugh and lie in the sun. Who cares if the squirrels see me? I do not need to catch one and eat it- 'causethe Mom gives us lots of food. Even if we have to share it.
I like this time of year. There is good sun and not TOO MUCH WORK. Protecting the Mom and the house is very important, but I do NOT like too much work.
Spirit
Our Column -September 2009
"Chasing Tornadoes"
We are tornado chasers. We watch the tornado chasers on Weather Channel. The people look for tornadoes and chase them away. Then they help the people be safe.
Me and that Red dog
are going to be brave and chase all the tornadoes away from our town.
We got tornadoed in July. The Town’s screechy thing went off and made LOTS OF NOISE after it got dark and before we went night-night. It made more noise than we do when we chase away the motorcycles. It did not scare the tornado. It came anyway.
The Mom’s personal screechy thing went off lots of times too. It tells her when noisy thunderstorms are coming and other nasty things that the National Weather service thinks that she should know about.
In July, the Mom said we had to go down the
basement and hide under the stairway. WE DID
NOT LIKE THIS. Then That Red Dog heard
noises and tried to run upstairs to chase them away.
Then he heard more noises and tried to hide in the Mom’s lap. And then more noises and
he tried to run upstairs and chase the monster who was making them away.
Mom did not let him go upstairs. So he thought hard and the monster went away.
The next day we found out that a tornado had come real
close to our house. We were lucky, it did not break anything. But it
broke lots of things for other people. 400 buildings got broke at
least a little and some got broke all the way. No people got killed,
just buildings.
Me and That Red Dog get all excited now when the Mom’s personal screechy thing goes off. We look around for the tornado so we can chase it away. We watch the tornado chasing people on TV so we learn
how to do it good.
Last week, the Mom’s personal screechy thing went off lots in the night. Me and that Red Dog looked hard for Tornadoes, but we didn't find any. There wasn't even any nasty thunder-noise.
The Mom got grumpy and unplugged the screechy thing, ‘cause noise was for another town 90 miles
away. We made her plug it back in the next day. We need its help to chase away those nasty tornadoes.
We have a special bush to hide under outside so we can sneak up on the
tornadoes. We look hard at the sky to see if they are coming.
We even look outside out window to see if any are coming.
We will make sure that no tornado bothers our Mom!
Spirit and Red
BOTH brave dogs
RED’S COLUMN – AUGUST 2009
“Top Dog . . . NOT ME . . . Well, Maybe When I get Older”
I got to be the TOP DOG for two whole days and decided I will wait a LONG time before I take that position full-time.It was much too nerve-wracking to be responsible for the Mom FULL-TIME.It is hard to get enough sleep . . . Team work is a VERY GOOD THING!
That SILLY BLACK DOG got sick.She was not eating too good for ten days and then she stopped eating.This got the Mom VERY UPSET; since it was about this time a year ago that the OLD DOG DEWEY stopped eating and went over the rainbow bridge. She did not eat for TWO DAYS.Mom called her vet and found out her vet was out of town.JUST LIKE THE VETWAS OUT OF TOWN WHEN THE DEWEY GOT SICK.This got the Mom upset even more.
And then that SILLY BLACK DOG did not eat and THREW UP for another two days.And then she made lots of smelly stuff while the Mom was at church earning puppy food for us to eat.It looked and smelled REAL NASTY. There was lots of this green stuff . . .
This got the Mom VERY VERY upset.In fact, she FREAKED OUT.
Mom called the nice vet-man in Beach, ND.He said, “Bring the puppy in” even though it was Sunday.The Mom made me stay home, ‘cause it was too hot to sit in the car when she and the SILLY BLACK DOG were inside with the vet-man.
It was HOURS later when the Mom returned.She did not have the SILLY BLACK DOG with her.I got upset, ‘cause she went away with the OLD DOG DEWEY and came back without him LAST summer.The Mom told me that she would bring back the SILLY BLACK DOG, but I didn’t believe her.The Mom rolled up the dog-rug (which now smelled nasty) and put it outside in the dessert-bin that the men in the noisy truck empty once a week.I did NOT think that it belonged in there with all the good food.
The Mom told me that THAT SILLY BLACK DOG was sick, ‘cause she had eaten out of the dessert-bin.She called it “garbage poisoning”.I did not believe her.The dessert-bin only has good stuff in it – ‘cept for the stinky dog-rug.
I thought I would now get to be THE BOSS, without arguing with THAT SILLY BLACK DOG.When the Mom asked me to go out into the dark night, I did NOT roll my belly-up as I usually do.I ran right outside like that SILLY BLACK DOG does!It was scary out-the-side.When the Mom whistled, I ran back in, very happy.I took the first guard-dog duty that night.No dog replaced me.I stayed up ALL NIGHT to keep the Mom safe.
I spent all the next day staring out the dog-window.I did not hide behind the dog-flower when I went outside.(I do that when THAT SILLY BLACK DOG sits on the porch so if monster birds come, I can sneak up on them.)Again, I ran outside when it got dark to scare away all the night monsters.I spent all that day staring out the dog-window.I was getting very tired.
Then the Mom said we got to go for-a-ride.We went to Beach – to the vet-man’s place.THAT SILLY BLACK DOG jumped in the car.I gave her a bog kiss and told her she was the boss-dog.She said, “Of course, I am” as if I didn’t have anything to do with it.
That night, when it was time to go out into the darkness, I rolled belly-up and stayed that way, even when the Mom pulled me outside.It was REAL good to have someone else in charge.
Red
SPIRIT’S COLUMN
“Dessert is Good . . .Most of the Time”
The Mom got me from the shelter when I was only 1 year old.I had been picked up running around town and eating out of people’s garbage cans.It was tasty food.
When I got to the Mom’s house, I did not eat her food at all.She could put her hamburger plate on the floor and I would not eat it, ‘cause it was the Mom’s supper.But when she put it in the garbage can, IT WAS ALL MINE!
I taught that OLD DOG DEWEY (who was NOT an OLD DOG at that time) how to raid garbage cans.We got very good at it.One day, we got chicken bones, ice cream and hamburger buns.We only eat whole grain baked things.
The Mom went and bought a new garbage can.Me and THAT OLD DOG DEWEY figured out how to get to the dessert in that garbage can.The Mom bought a new garbage can.We figured that one out, too.Finally, the Mom got a dessert garbage can that me and Dewey could not figure out.
The Mom brought this garbage can to North Dakota.THAT RED DOG helped me figure out how to get at the tasty dessert that the Mom put in it.Then the Mom went and spent $80 on a garbage can.No more dessert for us dogs . . . at least in the Mom’s house.
A few days ago, I found some dessert in the back yard and did NOT share with THAT RED DOG.The Mom says that that is why I got sick.I do not know why not sharing with THAT RED DOG would make me sick, so I DO NOT believe her.Garbage-dessert is GOOD for dogs.
THAT RED DOG says that he does not want to be top dog.That is why I am not calling him THAT UPPITY RED DOG.I am glad he finally got smart and realized who is boss.
This is where we hid when the tornado came. I will tell you about the tornado next time.I need to take my nap.
Spirit
"It Really and Truly IS THE MAN’S FAULT”
May 2009
Mom has waited to let me do my column, ‘cause THE MAN is still working
on the website. We have a contrary website – like me – or so Mom
says. It is not MY FAULT; it is THE MAN’S FAULT. He has not yet
“updated” the site so the Mom can work at it from her Macintosh
computer. Neither the Mom nor me speak PC very well.
Yes, I was busy lying in the sun; it is nice to have sun outside
again. AND NO WHITE AND COLD STUFF. And I was napping when THE MOM called and said I could use the computer. Twice. Napping is
important to keep up my strength so I can stay awake at night and keep
the MOM and the house safe from squirrels and motorcycles.
It is dog hole time again. We do not have to make them so deep this
year, ‘cause we have no OLD DOGS to keep cool in the holes. We have 4
dog holes; one of them is in the warm and nice sun.
I lie on the hole in the sun – it is an important place, ‘cause it
guards the gate into the back yard.
Sometimes I fall asleep there and then get hot and have to go-downstairs to the basement to cool off. 
Mom calls it dog-air conditioning when I go downstairs into the
basement and lie on the floor. She is mean and forgets I am down
there protecting the basement from squirrels and closes the door. She
yells my name and I come up and quietly stand at the door waiting for
it to open. After a long time, she opens the door and I get to ask
why she called. Usually, the Mom says she was worried ‘cause she
didn’t know where I was. I WAS PROTECTNG, of course!
The dog-cover-plant is growing nice and quick this year. It has grown
6 inches in two days. Me and THAT UPPITY RED DOG hope it grows big
before it gets hot out-the-side. THE MOM likes it because it has
pretty flowers. We think that she is silly. It only has flowers for
a couple weeks in the spring. It keeps us dogs cool for lots longer
than that! It is made for dog-cover not people-flowers. We have a
small dog hole underneath it that THE MOM keeps putting dirt in every
year. We don’t know why. That means we just have to dog the dog-hole
under the dog-cover-plant all over again. But – maybe she ISN’T
completely silly. We don’t need such a BIG hole this year.
The silly Mom put up a plastic fence around her garden-space. I don’t
know why. Dewey taught me that us dogs have to go and sit in the
garden so that the bunny rabbits know that the garden belongs to the
Mom and to leave it alone. Me and THAT UPPITY RED DOG chased a bunny out of our backyard the other day. We almost caught him. Mom was
glad we didn’t, I don’t know why – if we ate him he couldn’t make more
bunnies to eat the Mom’s garden.
Anyway, THAT OLD DOG DEWEY taught me how to sneak underneath the fence by making believe that it isn’t there. I will do that later when
there are things inside that might taste good. Me and THAT UPPITY RED
DOG miss that OLD DOG DEWEY. He got to take on the job of fixing the
Mom when she gets upset; I got the job of keeping the bunny rabbits
away from the garden. It is MUCH harder than chasing squirrels!
THAT UPPITY RED DOG is strange. He doesn’t like motor things, ‘cept
the car that we go-for-ride in. When the Mom took out her tiller
thing to work on the garden, he got upset and wanted to protect the
Mom. He tried to bite the fence. So the Mom put us inside when she
mowed the lawn and did the tiller thing.
I will write again when THE MAN finally fixes the website.
Spirit P.
"It is the MAN'S Fault . . ."
April 2009 (Red's Page, REALLY)
I like this picture. It shows how hard I work to protect the dogland. No squirrels, birds or motorcycles are allowed on my side of the fence!
It is NOT the Mom's fault that it took so long for our pages to get on the website.
Mom was all ready to let Spirit have a go at the computer, and the website MAN said that he had to fix the website. That was two and a half weeks ago. It is NOT fixed yet.
Mom is REAL glad the website is being fixed. That means she can use her Macintosh to do the website. Right now, Me and THAT MEAN BLACK DOG have to write on Mom's Mac 'cause we don't speak PC - only MAC/ENGLISH and dog. The Mom emails what we wrote with her computer to herself. I don't know why. Then she sets up her PC and says nasty words that me and THAT MEAN BLACK DOG don't like. She says it is from downloading problems and too much old spam in the in-box. Me and THAT MEAN DOG think that spam is good. And old spam is even better. We try hard, but we don't ALWAYS agree with the Mom.
She fiddles with the PC for a LONG time and our words are then on the website. She then puts up the pictures that I took - after she makes them look pretty. I think they already look pretty, but THAT MEAN BLACK DOG always disagrees and wants the Mom to fiddle with them and make them better. I like it when I am in the center of things - but Spirit likes it better when she is in the center of things. The Mom says more words and then puts the pictures up. This takes twice as long as it takes us dogs to write our column in the first place. We watch and keep her safe THE WHOLE TIME SHE IS WORKING. Even when she works on the OTHER dog's writing!
The Mom says she doesn't speak PC too well either. Me and THAT MEAN BLACK DOG wonder if those nasty words are PC.
When the website MAN is done, maybe the Mom will let both me and THAT MEAN BLACK DOG both write each month. I will enjoy that. Then I can talk back to THAT MEAN BLACK DOG the same month in which she is mean.
Since I get to go first, I don't have anything to talk back about this month, so I will talk about the dangers of SPRING.
First, there are birds. I try hard and chase them all out of dogland. You can see me looking for enemies to chase out of dogland, which is EVERYTHING on my side of the fence and ten feet outside. The squirrels stay out of the dogland, but not the ten feet outside. They are THAT MEAN BLACK DOG'S enemies, but I bark at them, too, since she helps me chase the birds.
Second, there are the motorcycles. They are very scary. They make LOTS of noise. I didn't want to go outside with them and peed in the bathroom. The Mom was unhappy. She put on my handle. She had to move the strap things a little 'cause I am now a BIG dog. The first few times I heard the motorcycles, the Mom only had to pick up the handle thing and I ran quick outside, but then they got noisier. When the Mom wants to put the strap/handle thing on, I roll over so it is NOT easier for her to do this . . . but I REALLY am a GOOD DOG.
She says I need to go on a diet. That does not make sense to me, I need ALL my energy to chase away all the birds and the squirrels!
I will report next month if I have a mean MOM who doesn't feed me all the food I need in order to KEEP HER SAFE!
Red (Duke)
April 2009 - Spirit's Page
"It is the MAN'S Fault . . . 2"
MY OLD COLUMN THAT I DID NOT GET TO PUT UP
I was gonna complain that it wasn't spring yet, 'cause of the snow. Spring was SUPPOSED to be here over a month ago and we HAD SNOW. Look. See snow. These pictures were taken weeks after spring was SUPPOSED TO BE here.
THAT UPPITY RED DOG was more upset than I was when the big snow came in SPRING. It was as tall as my nose. THAT UPPITY RED DOG was too scared to go outside. The Mom had to open the window on the screen door so she could shovel the snow and we could go outside. She shoveled the steps and DID NOT SHOVEL ANY DOG WALKS. We need dogwalks along the fence so that we can patrol.
Me and THAT UPPITY RED DOG had to make the walks all ourselves by being snow plows. I showed THAT RED DOG. You play bound-jump up and down and up and down. It is ALOT of work, but I enjoy it.
THAT RED DOG just watched for the first hour, but then he started doing it. He even enjoyed it. He is NOT always UPPITY, only MOST of the time!
Red does not like cold paws, I don't either, butI don't complain and say "NO GO OUTSIDE" like he does . . .
I like mud-season, which is the first part of spring, but the MOM does NOT! She tries to wipe-the-dog before we get out of the kitchen, but she doesn't always get us before we get to the dining room. The Mom has a dog-paw rug there that we sit on. It is not green any longer, but the color of dog-paws instead. We like this color MUCH better.
This is a short column, 'cause I promised THAT RED DOG that I would NOT be mean if he wasn't mean.
Next week is next month. I can wait that long to complain about THAT UPPITY RED DOG.
Spirit (Queen of ALL)
"I am NOT Fired - YOU Are"
March 2009
I did not lose the camera. THAT MEAN BLACK DOG did. She hid the camera, 'cause I wouldn't let her use the picture with me looking funny. She laughed and said I was a REAL GOOD photographer. The wind was blowing when I set up the camera and things were a little off. I am getting better though.
This is the picture that I wanted to use. I look real smart and like a real scary watch-the-Mom dog. THAT MEAN BLACK DOG is the watch-the-house dog.
We are both tired of all that wet and cold stuff. It is hard on the eyes when you are trying to see all the dangerous things that surround the house all at the same time.
DON'T I LOOK SILLY AND NOT LIKE A SCARY WATCH-THE-MOM DOG?
To tell the truth, THAT MEAN BLACK DOG took this picture.
She didn't even want to share standing on the mat and not on the snow, but the Mom insisted!
WE ARE TIRED OF WHITE STUFF! North Dakota dogs are NOT supposed to get this much white stuff to play in! It was fun to play in at Kiss-Miss time and even in January when I took these pictures. But how can I take good pictures if the only thing outside is white stuff? There aren't even alot of birds and squirrels to chase and keep warm!
Do YOU see any squirrels to chase? Even the dogs are staying-in-the-house.
It was supposed to be below ZERO for the HIGH today. We don't like that BELOW ZERO. Especially since last week it was almost 60 degrees and Mom didn't wear her coat - once. We always wear our coats. We are glad that the Mom didn't make us wear dog coats today. I bit a hole in mine and THAT MEAN BLACK DOG told the Mom. The Mom said I would have to wear the small one that makes me look silly. Fortunately, it got warm and she put them away.
She said something like "Daylight Savings time - spring time - YES!" And then it got cold and looks of white stuff came. She forgot where she put the dog coats and we did NOT remind her!
Mom is bored too - so she played cut-the-dog-nails. This is NOT our favorite game. We play run-away when Mom wants to do this. The last time we had our nails cut at the vet-place. THAT MEAN BLACK DOG would not let them do it - until the Mom asked if she wanted to go to Donald's. Then she let the vet-people cut her nails. The vet people laughed and kept asking her if she wanted to go Donalds. She did. And the Mom took us there.
THAT MEAN BLACKDOG said that she was hoping there would be enough snow so that it would cover the fence and we could walk in and out when we wanted to. It came close.
Mom said she heard a bird singing on Saturday. I am glad. That means soon I will have lots of birds to protect the Mom from and I don't have to be the hpotographer to feel like an important dog. Maybe the Mom should be the photographer again. What do you think?
THAT smart RED DOG
"THAT UPPITY DOG IS FIRED"
February 2009
THAT UPPITY RED DOG LOST THE CAMERA!
I fired Mom as my photographer and hired THAT UPPITY RED DOG.I thought that there would be more pictures of me on my website if he was taking the pictures.You’ve seen how many pictures of Mom got on the website when she was taking the pictures.After all, this is MY PAGE, not THATUPPITY RED DOG’S page!
He lost the camera . . . Mom thinks he probably ate it like he ate her shoes.He ate another pair of Mom’s shoes.This year he has only eaten brown shoes.I tell Mom to buy BLACK shoes, as in BLACK DOG, but no, she says she needs brown shoes.For some reason, she thinks black doesn’t go with everything, But I know better.I am the BLACKDOG.
As long as she doesn’t start buying RED shoes, I will be happy.
I will help THAT UPPITY RED DOG look for the camera, and I will promise him that he can take some pictures of himself as long as I am in the picture, too.I will ask Mom to even give him a cookie if he finds the camera.Mom says okay – as long as the camera has NOT been chewed.Only GOOD DOGS get cookies – unless they are being bribed.
That RED DOG has taught the Mom to bribe dogs.I approve of that, NOT of eating cameras and other things, like my toys.He ate my Christmas present.That was what I wanted him to take January’s picture of – the TWO chewed toys that were mine.THAT UPPITY RED DOG said “NO”, not unless he was in the picture looking pleased with himself.
I may have to let the Mom be the photographer if we find the camera.If THAT UPPITY RED DOG ate the camera, I hope he gets indigestion.FOR A WHOLE DOG YEAR.
Anyways, THAT UPPITY RED DOG has taught the Mom to bribe dogs for going outside and for not barking in the car.You may remember that Mom had to put a handle on the RED DOG so she could drag him outside.He is afraid of train whistles, motorcycles and windy days.Now – after 5 months of bribes, THAT UPPITY RED DOG runs outside and then cuts in front of me when he runs inside.I don’t like that, but I do like the cookie.We wait in front of the cookie table until the Mom gives us the cookie.One day it took 30 Minutes.I gave up waiting, but THAT RED DOG just sat – and got the cookie first.Which WAS NOT FAIR!
When we go-for-ride, the Mom puts a mouth-thing on THAT RED DOG.He tries to rub it off.If Mom forgets, he barks ALLTHE TIME.Even when there are no cars going by on the road..Then Mom says “No speak, go get Donalds,” and he is quiet.He moans and Mom says “okay moan, but NO SPEAK.”When he does not speak, we get a hamburger with nothing on it to share.I get the first piece, which is right and good as I NEVER speak in the car.Unless we are in a parking lot next to another dog.And then it is my JOB to speak
THAT UPPITY RED DOG thinks it is his job to speak in the car ALL THE TIME.But then we do NOT get a “Donald’s.”
Mom took me to the mean-vet place to get our toe nails cut.We would NOT let them do that mean thing, until the Mom promised us a “Donald’s.”The mean people laughed when theMom said that – but we GOT OUR ”DONALD’S.”
When THAT UPPITY RED DOG finds the camera, I will put up the January column that I wrote. It will NOT be about THAT UPPITY RED DOG gloating over eating my Christmas present toys!
I will be the photographer from now on!
Spirit
"Kiss-Miss Time"
December 2008
Mom is excited 'cause it is Kiss-Miss Time. I don't know why, 'cept we do get better dog cookies. THAT UPPITY RED DOG thinks it means he is supposed to jump in Mom's lap and kiss her lots. Mom doesn't usually like him to do this - but she just says "Oh, it's Kiss-Miss time, it's okay today."
Mom is doing lots of strange things. She put up this purple tree thing. I told Red he couldn't pee on it and so far he has paid attention. I got scared when she started putting tail-targets on it, especially the bird ones. I thought that that UPPITY Red Dog would eat the birds. So far he hasn't.
Mom says it is 'cause he doesn't think that they are real. I know better. I have even heard them singing! Mom puts on her music and sings too. Loud. I howl. THAT UPPITY RED DOG just looks at us. THAT UPPITY RED DOG doesn't see the dogs on TV and bark at them. He only barks when they bark. But I know that they are ALL REAL and need to be barked at so that Mom is safe!
See the birds in the tree. Aren't they real birds? But - so far - THAT UPPITY RED DOG hasn't eaten them.
He has eaten all the Kiss-Miss toys that Mom has given us. The Camel got broke in one play-time. Mom ended up with the big piece and all that THAT UPPITY RED DOG got was one leg. But then Mom wouldn't play with that toy any more. I was upsest. Red took ALL THE TOYS and put them in his bed AS IF THEY WERE ALL HIS.
That is NOT fair!
Mom said I can't get upsets at THAT UPPITY RED DOG at Kiss-Miss time. I can't wait for it to be normal time and I can get upset at THAT UPPITY RED DOG again without getting the Mom upset.
See the dead camel? THAT UPPITY RED DOG stole it from where Mom hid it. The camel only has three legs. One, two, three. I am smart and can count to five. That is how I can keep track and tell if Mom is giving us the same amount of cookies. I count one, two, three, four, five and LOTS. Red can't count. I am LOTS SMARTER.
That is why I am thinking of letting that UPPITY DOG be top dog in one or two things. I am a mature, 8 year old dog and do not have to be running all over the place like that Red Dog does when we are outside. I am thinking of being the supervisor and Red can be the runner. Supervising is VERY important. That is what Mom does here at home.
Mom said I was supposed to tell everybody MERRY KISS-MISS TIME.
Spirit
"I Stole the Show"
(Me and that UPPITY RED DOG #2 - November 2008)
I was real good when I was in the play at church.They did GREAT PUMPKIN CHARLIE BROWN and I was in the dog in the pumpkin patch that RUINED everything by making noise.I am VERY GOOD at making noise, so I was asked to be the star!
They were gonna have a party at Mom’s church and I had to practice running down the stairs and into the room they were having the party in.I practiced three times.I had to go to the choir stairs to run down them.This meant I got to go through the church.It is pretty and has a tree in it.It is a good thing that I was the star and not THAT UPPITY BOY RED DOG.
I smelled the whole place twice to make sure that there weren’t any squirrels in the church.I smelled Mom lots, especially around the pulpit, and I smelled my friend Jackie who made me the star.She plays the organ while Mom makes lots of other noise on Sunday mornings.
Mom brought LOTS of best dog cookies and made me sit at the top of the stairs.I did.Then she whistled and I ran down the stairs.We did that three times each practice.I wanted to domore, but Mom ran out of best dog cookies.The last practice, my friend Jackie was sitting on a chair at the bottom of the second stairs and talking.She sat something and Mom whistled.I ran down to my friend, ignoring Mom, because Jackie had the cookie!
Then they had the play night.Mom went to the church dressed strange.Red thought she was weird, but I thought it was okay ‘cause she didn’t dress like a squirrel or anything like that.We don’ know why human people wear strange things, but they really had on strange things THAT NIGHT.After a long time, Mom came back and got me.Red wanted to go too, but I didn’t let him.
Mom took me to church.There were lots of new smells from human people, and I want to go down the stairs and say hello, but we went to the choir stairs and I had to sit.And I had to sit.And I had to sit.I heard my friend Jackie reading something and someone else, but I still had to sit.Then my friend Jackie whistled and I RAN DOWN THE STAIRS.I ran right past Mom ‘cause she didn’t have any cookies.I got a REAL BIG COOKIE when I got down the stairs.
The human people all said “A DOG” and didn’t listen to what my friend Jackie was reading any more.Got lots of petting and everyone wanted to give me dog cookies and EVEN LOTS OF OTHER GOOD THINGS.They had to sneak the other good things so Mom didn’t see.
When I got home, that UPPITY RED DOG was jealous.I said “tough” but Mom gave him a special cookie.Then I was jealous.
The next day, Mom went to church and I wanted to go to make sure she was safe.Mom said I just wanted to be petted by everybody and wouldn’t let me go.How can I keep Mom safe from squirrels if I am not with her?
Then it snowed outside and I got covered with white stuff.I like the white stuff – especially when I come inside and Mom wipes-the-dog.THAT UPPITY RED DOG likes the wipe-the-dog, but not the white stuff.He says it is too cold.
We work real hard to keep Mom safe.We hope that Mom will take us to church so we can keep her safe there.If the human people want to pet us, that will be good, too.
Spirit P.
"Change is NOT Good"
(Me and that UPPITY RED DOG #1 - October 2008)
I WANT A NEW BROTHER! IT WAS HIS JOB TO PUT THE PICTURES IN THIS STORY AND IT TOOK HIM A WHOLE WEEK. . .
We were all sad when Dewey went away and didn't come back. Mom cried and that UPPITY RED DOG kept sitting in Mom's lap. Sometimes she laughed, but most of the time she pushed him off. Dewey was in charge of making Mom not-cry. He did a good job, but UPPITY RED DOG isn't doing such a good job.
This RED DOG is UPPITY. He thinks that now Dewey went away that he should be more important. I don't think so, and I AM THE BOSS.
When Mom asks if I want to go outside at night, THAT UPPITY RED DOG jumps in her lap AFTER I say yes I do. Sometimes he jumps so hard that Mom goes "OOOPH". Mom makes him get off most of the time, but lately she has been petting him two whole times before letting me go out-the-side. THIS IS NOT FAIR. Mom asks me if I want to go outside, not if THAT UPPITY RED DOG wants to jump in her lap.
Mom thinks it is 'cause THAT UPPITY RED DOG is scared of the dark out- the-side, especially when the wind blows and the train whistles by. I know better - he just wants to be the boss.
HE IS WRONG!!!
I AM BOSS.
He gets in my way when I bark at all the things from the out-the-side that need to be scared away by dog barking. I growl mean and nasty at him, but he still gets in the way. I may have to nip him a teeny bit if he doesn't watch out.
He got to the lie down place at the top of Mom's bed before I did last week. Top dog belongs at the top where the Mom's head is, other dog gets the Mom's feet. I was so annoyed that when he tried it the next night I sat on him. He moved. And I got to lie down in the top dog position.
He even gets in Mom's face when Mom is upset. He thinks just 'cause Dewey made Mom feel better when she was upset, that he can too. He is wrong.
He started eating Mom's shoes AGAIN! Mom said she got brave and bought really good Merrill shoes for $80 even after her discount. AND THAT UPPITY RED DOG ate one. He is good sometimes, 'cause he always leaves the other shoe alone and only eats one. He thinks that Mom doesn't really need two, so why can't he eat one? The only shoes that he gets for himself are snow shoes and those are NASTY THINGS. He thinks that Mom's shoes are much more fun.
I told him Mom needs two shoes, but that we don't REALLY need four snow things. We don't really need ANY. We are planning on making Mom throw them out by accident again this year. Last year. the bag of snow things was on the floor near the door to the down-the-stairs waiting for Mom to wash them, and we moved them next to the out-the-side door instead where Mom puts things that go in the tasty food bin that the truck comes and steals. We hope that she will throw them out and the truck takes them away like happened two years ago. This was THAT UPPITY RED DOG's idea. If it works, I may like him again. We mind the truck taking the tasty food, but NOT the snow things.
I get to be a star on stage this Saturday. I will tell you next month how wonderful I was next month. I was promised a really BIG cookie for my efforts. I will NOT share. Maybe with the Mom . . . .but not with THAT UPPITY RED DOG.
Spirit
PS. Red promised he would put in the pictures tommorrow. If he dous, I ,oght apologize and be nice. Then again, I might not . . . THAT UPPITY RED DOG TOOK THREE DAYS TO PUT IN THE PICTURES. I will eat his dog cookies, but not his supper. I need his help to get the snow things where they belong.
"MOM LOST DEWEY!!!"
(Me and Dewey and THAT RED DOG #23 - September 2008)
Mom took Dewey to the vet and didn't bring him back. I have looked all over the house. I even ran away to check out the neighbor houses incase that Old Dog Dewey got lost and couldn't find his way home. I thought maybe that was it, 'cause he can't see well.
Me and That Uppity Red Dog went to the dog jail. I got very excited and made lots of noises that I don't usually make. I thought maybe I could find Dewey at the vet place. I LOOKED ALL WEEK AND THERE WAS NOT EVEN A DEWEY SMELL.
When Mom picked us up she said that she had taken Dewey to a different vet and left him there 'cause he couldn't walk any more since he wasn't eating. She said he went someplace called rainbow bridge where all the good dogs go when they get sick or old. I don't know what his is. I think Mom is making it up to make me feel better.
If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have eaten THAT OLD DOG DEWEY's food. I would have left it until it smelled very good - and even then I wouldn't have eaten it. I wouldn't even have let that Uppity Red Dog eat any of it.
I didn't eat the first week when I was looking so hard for That Old Dog Dewey, but this week I ate normal. I didn't want that Uppity Red Dog to get fat. Then he might get sick. And he might go away. If I get another Mom bodyguard dog he might not be as fun to play with as the Uppity Red Dog.
I am sad. The only thing that I found for Mom to take a picure of was the Dewey-collar that Mom brought home from the strange vet. I did not want that up on my web page. So this month there is no picture either. I will have an extra picture next month.
Spirit p.
Queen of sad dog
"That OLD DOG DEWEY . . . AGAIN"
(Me and Dewey and THAT RED DOG #22)
Oh, Mom's book is here. And Mom's special poem is here.
Copyright © 2006 M. Kathleen Chesnut
Dewey and Spirit Photo Credit: Copyright 2004 The Country Studio, Guilderland, NY
~ DewSpirit Publishing ~ PO Box 1208 ~ Dickinson, ND 58601 ~ 701.260.3614 ~
Copyright © 2006 - 2010 DewSpirit Publishing. Website design by Hurtdidit, LLC..
