ME AND DEWEY AND THAT RED DOG
March and April

Me and Dewey and THAT RED DOG #4
"Mom Gives Up . . . DOGS RULE!"

He is VERY careful NOT to eat the go-out-and-play shoes. He only picks these up and places them in the middle of the floor. Mom only wears these sometimes when she goes-for-a-ride without us dogs. She doesn't take us lots anymore, 'cause that Red Dog barks at all the cars to keep us all safe. For some reason, Mom doesn't like that. She says her ears hurt. That Red Dog barks good to keep us all safe.

He only eats the go-out-to-work shoes, because whenever Mom puts them on she goes away for days at a time. Red doesn't like that. I don't
like that. Dewey doesn't mind so much, 'cause sometimes he gets to go to the church office to visit with the Fox-boy. He likes that, Me
and that Red Dog don't think that that is fair. So That Red Dog eats these shoes, 'cause they are the MEAN SHOES.

Mom decided to give up and make those shoes live in the closet with the door closed from now on. DOGS RULE.

That Red Dog taught Mom a lesson. I did that once, too. Before I found Mom at the dog shelter, I was running around a town eating out of garbage cans. The food tasted REAL GOOD, but it was hard work finding all those cans and opening them up. I started to get REAL skinny, because it was such hard work.  Some people chased me and reported me to the dog catcher and I got caught and put in the dog jail. I didn't get any more of that REAL GOOD FOOD there. Just dry, crunchy stuff. Nothing soft and gooey.

When I met Mom, Dewey told me that Mom was an important leader of the pack. He said he had met her pack and it had lots of ladies in it. They sang and he howled and he became part of the pack, too. He taught me not to eat Mom's food. Dewey said that Mom gets to put her food down and we can't touch it.

I followed those rules very well. One day, Mom put fried chicken bones on the corner table and forgot. I let them sit there for a whole day and didn't eat them, 'cause they were Mom's. Then she put them in that garbage can thing - and that meant they weren't Mom's any more. MINE! I ate them then.

As soon as food goes into the garbage can thing, it belongs to anybody! Actually, as soon as food goes into the garbage can thing, it is MINE! Sometimes, I let the food sit and ferment - like people
let wine ferment. Aged food tastes best. It smells better, too. That's why I don't like those garbage men who take away all the really good food in the bin outside on Mondays. That is the day it
would taste best!

Anyway, Mom bought a garbage can thing with a lid; that was easy for me to get into. Then she bought another kind. I had to try to get into that one. When she moved her to North Dakota she spent $40 on a metal one with a step-on thing. That is hard to get into - 'cept when Mom gets lazy and lets too much good stuff fill the garbage can thing. Then I get a feast. I WIN - DOGS RULE!

Spirit

Me and Dewey and THAT RED DOG #5
"Dog Signs of Spring"

I am working hard to train THAT RED DOG.  He still won’t leave Mom’s shoes alone, but at least he doesn’t bother her at-home shoes.  I don't want Mom to get the idea that we don't want her at-home!

He still eats my toys.  Mom has a toy for me in her church office and is afraid to bring it home.  The last fluffy toy that she brought home didn’t even get out of the bag. . . at least that is what Mom says.  I know it got out of the bag, ‘cause I saw Red take it out.  I told him it was mine, but he still ate it.  He is now even eating Dewey’s rope toys.  At least he ate the tennis ball that was on the end of the toy.  Then there was the three person tug-thing that Mom bought.  It is now only a one person tug-thing.  It is only good for playing fetch.

You might wonder why I am trying to talk Mom into keeping THAT RED DOG.  The answer is simple:DOG HOLES.  Mom can’t tell which one of us is making the holes.  THAT RED DOG always has dirty paws.  Mom says it is because he hasn’t learned how to be an inside dog yet.  I know better:DOG HOLES.  He is even better than I am!  ANd thatis the ONLY thing that Red is better at.

I can prove how good THAT RED DOG is at dog holes.  This is the hole just starting. AND IT IS NOT MY NOSE THAT IS STICKING IN THE HOLE!  And look at this other picture, Red is resting after a hard day’s work.I am being good and guarding.  You can see that it is NOT MY NOSE IN THE DOG HOLE.

I am a GOOD DOG.  But I did tell THAT RED DOG that his hole wasn't big enough for Dewey to take a nap in.  So he made it bigger. I like it when Red does what I tell him.  He worked hard on that hole and is now taking a rest! 

If we keep Red, then Dewey can get his cool-dog holes when it is hot and I won’t get the blame.  At least if Mom blames the right dog.

And Dewey needs his dog holes to stay cool when the sun is hot.

It isn’t hot outside yet.  We like it and Dewey wants to stay outside all day.  I like sleeping on the couch for part of the day.  And someone needs to stay inside and guard Mom while she puts my column up on the website.  Mom did NOT catch me sleeping when she looked.  If I was sleeping, how could I check and see if Mom writes what I tell her to write?

She made me go outside.  She wanted to get a good three-dog picture. But then she saw all the DOG HOLES  .Only four and a half holes, but she got upset anyways.  Only one was big enough to keep Dewey cool when it gets hot.

Mom won’t believe me when I say I didn’t dig this dog hole. She says you can tell online that I did it, ‘cause you have a picture of this tree on the website with a BIG dog hole instead of the baby one it has now.

(Don’t tell Mom, but I did do this one, though NOT ANY OF THE OTHER HOLES.  I just wanted the tree to be able to get lots of water when it rains, ‘cause it has been dry and that tree is an important place for Dewey to hide when it is hot.  I need to take good care of my brother Dewey!)

Two dogs had dirty paws, and she made all dogs sit in the corner on the steps.  That isn’t fair.  I am the GOOD DOG.

Dewey looks sad, 'cause we were digging the holes just to help him feel better.  He doesn't think that Mom is being fair either!

I am working HARD at training THAT RED DOG.   ‘cept I am NOT telling Mom ALL the things that I am training THAT RED DOG to do.

Spirit

The Dog with the dirtiest paws

P.S.Mom keeps talking about a dog-whisper-lady.That sounds dangerous.I hope that lady likes dog holes.

Me and Dewey and THAT RED DOG #7
"I get to Write a Book, too!"

Mom said that I get to write the next book because I am smarter than she is.  I figured out how to make THAT RED DOG be quiet.  Play.  Play LOTS.  You can see how quiet THAT RED DOG IS in the picture below.

He is a noisy dog because he is afraid of cars.  Mom is going to get a dog-whisper-lady to help.  That is because Mom's ear hurts for a long time after we go-for-a-ride in the car.  She hopes that with the help of that lady her ears won't hurt for so long after we ride in the car.  I will tell you about what happens.  Me and Dewey hope that THAT RED DOG learns how not to bark so much 'cause we  like to ride in cars.  And Mom doesn 't like to leave THAT RED DOG home alone because he eats things when he is upset.  He eats my toys and Mom's go-to-work shoes.

This is the best way to see THAT RED DOG.  He got tired out from playing and barking at cars.  I helped and Mom got some PEACE AND QUIET.  At least until she got a phone call that woke Red up and we started playing again.  She had to chase us out of the office-room so she could talk.  We wanted to talk, too, but Mom didn't let us.

I haven't decided what to write about in my book.  I will write about snow.  Did you know that it only snows here in North Dakota in the spring and in the fall, but not in the winter?  We don't know why.

Dewey was upset with the spring snow.  He wanted sun on his fur.  He got grumpy.  I played with THAT RED DOG instead.  I will also write about OLD DOGS in my new book, like Dewey.  I am NOT an old dog, but I will write about me anyways. 

Mom says I should ask you what to write about.  If you ask me about myself, I will answer - maybe, but only if I look smart in what I say.  Mom said that I am not allowed to fib in the book - at least not lots. 

I will answer ANYTHING about THAT RED DOG.  I might answer anything about Dewey as long as he keeps eating all his supper himself.  I need lots of food so I can play in the spring snow.  One dog food bowl is not enough.

Playing is a very important responsibility for dogs.  Moms don't usually play enough, so we have to make sure they play at least twice a day.  Play is as important as eating. 

If you sign up for our mailing list Mom will tell you about my book.  It might take a whole year to write it.  I type slow, but maybe Mom will help!

Spirit P.

Oh, Mom's book is here.   And Mom's special poem is here.